Plain and Simple: When the Fantasy Collapsed: The Day I Chose Me

By D. M.

The check was returned. The money never came. The story didn’t hold. And I was left holding the weight of a man’s manipulation disguised as love. It wasn’t just financial, it was emotional warfare. Every apology felt scripted. Every “I love you” carried a hook. And even in my exhaustion, I still held space , until the moment I realized I was dying in it.

This is what happened next. This is how I finally said no, and meant it.

The Way You Made Me Feel

I told him how it made me feel like a sitting duck when i told him the money wasn't in my account any longer, and i got an email saying it was a Fictitious check. My heart dropped. I was at work and I wanted to scream. He tried to soothe me to make me feel he knew nothing about it. I still received no clear clarity.

His words were full of sorrow. But sorrow doesn’t undo damage. I needed clarity, not comfort. And love without truth is still deception.

The Manager Again

I clicked on the managers page accidentally thinking I was replying back to Chinedu after seeing his notification. I responded that my heart was heavy, but I would be alright. When I realized I had typed that to the manager and not Chinedu I was mortified. I quickly deleted the message and then the managers whole account on Whatsapp.

Chinedu said not to message anyone that claimed to be him or the manager. He was planning something. What? He didn't say.

He said all of this was the cause of his manager.

The Money Was Returned

Chinedu wanted me to call the bank to find out about the money. I told him the funds were returned. He was blaming the fact of the money being returned on being my account wouldn't be able to accept the $10,000. I would later find out the true reason. I got that Remitly removed. He never addressed how it got there.

The more I questioned, the more he deflected. First the banks. Then the manager. Then me. Love without accountability is not love, it’s manipulation in costume.

I Know Why The Check Was Returned

Chinedu blamed the returned funds on my account “not being able to receive large sums.” But that was never the issue. I would later discover the truth: this wasn’t a failed deposit, it was part of something darker. And he never once explained how the money got there in the first place.

Every answer led to more confusion. Every explanation created more questions. I wasn’t just dealing with heartbreak. I was now dealing with the possibility of being set up, financially and spiritually

This Is Why I'm Hot

Chinedu wasn't telling me anything I felt was of a benefit as to why the company made a complaint and asked for the check back. He would either blame the manager or my bank. I honestly didn't feel he talked to that company. Did they really exist? Yes. I looked them up before I deposited the check. Thinking maybe they used one of his songs in an ad. Nothing was adding up or making sense.

The math didn’t math. The energy didn’t lie.

Daughters Coming To Visit

I had a conversation with his daughter early in the day and she told me that Chinedu told her she would be coming to visit. Now why he go do that? It upset me that he did that considering we only talked about it briefly then he switched to a new subject or was ready to go to sleep. This is how he avoids hard conversations.

He used his daughter’s hopes to corner my heart — again.
We barely spoke about it.
He brought it up to her like it was confirmed, then ducked out of the conversation when I questioned it.
This is how manipulation looks when it wears a smile and calls itself “love.”

Can You Pay For The Tickets

Every request sounded like an urgency. Every potential get together before the AfroFuture Festival was spontaneously planned on a weekend of a month not in August, when he told me about coming to see me.

He told his oldest daughter they were coming to see me, and now he wanted me to buy their tickets. We briefly talked about this. There were no real plans made yet. I was pissed. Him throwing something at me like this knowing my financial situation.

This is the same man seen getting on his jet to travel around Africa to do private shows and he's fixing his mouth to tell me he couldn't buy his girls a plane ticket, that would've been $1050 for all three girls. That's not even round trip. Here he is stepping on boundaries again like I didn't just say I don't have it. I was done.

Every “plan” was really a pressure point.

What should have been a thoughtful visit turned into a last-minute scramble, with the cost pushed onto me.

It wasn’t about love or connection anymore — it was about control. And money was always at the center.

The New Bank Account

It had only been a couple of weeks and not only did he want me to pay for the girls plane tickets, but to open a new bank account so when he got here he could use it. No! I do not consent.

This wasn’t about love anymore.

This was about access.

To my money.
To my bank.

To my boundaries.
And my answer was no.

You're Paying

Then on top of plane tickets, new bank account, he wanted me to pay for the apartment he would be staying in for the next 3 days. I was not only physically drained, but mentally drained. I had spiraled down so low there was nowhere to go, but to rise back up.

At this point, I wasn’t confused anymore. I was exhausted — and done.
He didn’t want partnership. He wanted a financial pathway.

Answer This

The next day I asked the question why management wasn't covering Chinedu's expenses for this trip. I shouldn't have to come out my pocket for none of it. If he was who he claimed to be, if this was business or even love, where was the accountability? Why was the woman he claimed to care for the one footing every piece of the bill?

Management's Job

I explained to him I had been thinking about everything from our last conversation and mentioned how he travels now. That there was no reason for me to be paying expenses that weren't mines.

Management Got It

When Chinedu got back to me about what I told him prior about Management needing to take care of everything, he got back to me saying everything was good. That was a relief, but it felt to easy. Nothing is this easy dealing with Chinedu and this management of his.

I Knew It

Within the same conversation he comes back to say I still needed to provide for the plane tickets. I knew it was to easy. He then tells me since he will already be here in the States he wasn't going home to get them, then come back. He didn't tell me all that. He made it feel like they were all coming together. Other discoveries were to come with this one.

Manager Coming With The Children

Now, the manager was bringing the girls and this was thrown on me out of nowhere. I was not cooperating and when that happens the emotional manipulation starts to have me bend, so that I would stop asking questions and just do it. I still needed clarification. Anybody wanting to come see you with the means to do it, would.

Here Comes The VIP Card Again

In my mind this all broke down to getting me to buy this VIP card. Behind the "I love you", " I'm serious about this. I'm coming to see you" was the ploy to manipulate me into buying this damn card. I was tired of this. Everytime he asked for help financially the question that ran through my mind was, " how can a man who has it act like he's always in survival mode. "

Repaying Management

I'm still explaining management should be covering these expenses when he tells me about having to reimburse the company if this is done.

He then goes on guilt tripping me about not wanting to support the family. He said he would do it. Did he ever get the girls tickets? No.

Fake, Fraud, Bogus, Fictitious, OH MY

I was emotionally at the point were I didn't feel any more. I was tired of the manipulation, the guilt tripping, him not taking full accountability. I just let myself fall into the void. He apologized, but what did that mean. There was still more to come. Right now I needed space. My spirit didn't want to hear it anymore. This is when I was done. But in order to leave him, sane, I had to rebuild now while in the ashes of the fire. Then he asks me to download a new app.

Why did he act like he didn't know what this was when I sent it to him. I felt a nervousness rise within him, even with him being on the other side of the world

Your Tongue Fucked Up Now

The next day we talked. He said he was sorry, that he heard my request and wanted this relationship to work out between us. He said the words I wanted to hear, " accountability ", "being consistent ", "showing up ". Then he mocked me. I know he didn't just mock me and say I betrayed his trust. He was still on the firing range and my tongue was ready to go, after all the mess I just went through with him.

We had a series of voice messages. I'm breaking down telling him how I feel. He says he understands. He says he wants it to work out, but intuitively I'm not picking that up.

Setting My Boundaries

I told him how I felt even though I felt he was saying things to have me stay. He's breaking my heart and I'm emotionally hurting. I set my boundaries and told him what I expected from him.

Using My Information

I told Chinedu to destroy my information when the bank issue happened. Well, he hadn't because I received 4 money lending request that needed me to verify my information. I was horrified. He betrayed my trust with the bank check. He lied about destroying my information and now he was using my information to get money from a lending company. He knows I don't mess with that.

I get another message the next day from a one of the same money loaning places. He claimed he wasn't doing it. Did I truly believe it, no .

GoFundme

I suggested the creation of a gofundme to help with the expenses to help buy the girls tickets without attaching his name to it. He agreed after seeing what I wrote. I made the account. Found the image and had the page up that night. I felt it was wrong to do after I posted. I'm unconsciously reliving the damage he has done so far. I still have hopes of meeting him and his girls.

Deflection

On May 19th I told him I had a dental issue and he goes straight into, " This is why I told you to open bank in my account. " I didn't need that. I needed the assistance I've been giving him all this time. But it's not what I got.

Instead of talking about the issue he sends a picture of his phallus, and a nude photo. This was all it took to finally get this. I should've gotten pissed sooner.

He then tells me his workers say he shouldn't make a move. Pissed me off. He's been doing a lot of that recently. I was so upset I canceled the gofundme. Why keep it up. He wasn't coming. Why was he listening to his workers? He put this trip on the table.

He deleted the photos he sent me. It was his way to have me beg for them back. He did resend them.

Why You Change Your Mind?

He said it wouldn't be right for us to be there together with the girls, and then it was because his business trip to California was canceled. I'm asking him to answer questions I'm putting forth and of course he runs from them. It's either he's sleepy, love bombing, sexual banter, emotional manipulation, gaslighting or introducing the next financial heist in my pocket. He was steadily breaking my heart

So Your Leaving?

May be this was the point were I should have let go finally and walked away. I should have known it was another slide for money. He needed a card for he's Whatsapp. Okay, now he was openly playing me dumb right in front of my face. He wanted me to purchase prepaid cards. He wanted assistance. It wasn't given.

A Whatsapp Card?

He was trying to explain to me how he needed a prepaid card in order to charge his business Whatsapp. His Whatapp card was $200, and he wanted 4 cards.

His Paris Video

What the point was to mention me posting his video he made in Paris I really don't understand.

Questions Unanswered

He was being vague. He was giving me cryptic , half answers to questions, so I told him I was taking it to the ancestors. He wouldn't tell me. They would. I showed him what they answered.

He's Using My Card

I have notifications set up on my phone for when my card is used. This particular day a notification came through for Ubereats. I know it wasn't my daughter because the card was on me and I didn't order any food. I can only figure it was Chinedu doing it. He was the only one with my card number and I asked him twice to destroy. I confronted him about the charges. I had the charges removed.

Lost Communication

He then tells me about his daughter not having access to her Whatsapp account any longer.

The Apple Charge

We had an argument the day before and he didn't fully answer my questions on the Ubereats charge or why me and his daughter could no longer speak. So, I got up this morning to another notification on my card. This time Apple. He's the only one that's been asking me for a Apple card. He's shown me once of, he asks and I say no he'll find a way to get it.
I nicely went and canceled both my cards.
All he did was love bomb me.

Acknowledge My Feelings

Chinedu just love Bombed me, quoted the same Bible scripture about love being kind. But he wouldn't acknowledge my feelings

Crypto Fees

With everything he has asked of me he still wants me to help him. I only ask how much to see what he's asking for. I don't have it.

No, is not a word to him when everyone around him kisses his butt and tells him yes.
This is when he finds out I no longer have my credit cards. After finding this out his text slowed down.

Before the Breakup Letter

I've told him many times what the problem was, but there is so much you want to keep repeating before you sound like a broken record, and he acts like he just doesn't care. The text became shorter. When we did talk it wasn't for long. Why would it be. He couldn't sweeten me up to ask for something later.

Then he sent me a post of him in a kitchen cooking. He told me his manager took the video. Come to find out that was a lie. It was a woman's house he was at. That was the straw that broke the camels back.

I watched the video.

He made his entrance onstage with Diamond Platnumz, performing one of Flavour’s own songs. He was alive up there, fully in his element. It’s what he was meant to be: performing for the people. I felt that energy radiate through the screen.

The next day, he did an impromptu street performance with a DJ for the people of London. It was raw, spontaneous, and magnetic.

But just a few hours later, the tone shifted. I saw a new post, him sitting in a car, Rolex positioned perfectly in view, talking about his new WhatsApp group: The Inner Circle.

The day after that, another video surfaced. He was in a car again, lip syncing one of his songs with the caption:

“If you haven’t joined, you should. Link in stories.”

It was the same day as his photoshoot in that leopard print shirt. My intuition tingled. Something felt off.

I clicked the link out of curiosity. It took me to the group’s preview page. He already had 63 followers. Instead of chasing women down, he found a new way to bring them to him.

I couldn’t shake the feeling. The link, the timing, the video, it all felt familiar, but not in a good way.

So I asked Spirit to confirm what my intuition already knew.

The rods responded with a truth I could no longer unsee:

(I am only the messenger. You don't like what they said, take it up with the spirit realm)

I felt disgusted. Disappointed. The illusion shattered. I closed the page, hoping the women wouldn’t fall for the scheme.

I even did a rod session about this new group. The answer was clear — just as I suspected:

A new way to scam women, dressed up as an exclusive “meet and greet."