Black Male/Female Relationships

I am basically a home body, which means I drop my child at school, go to work, pick my child up and then go home. I don't do clubs, and when I go to the movies 9 times out of 10 I have my child with me and we are going to see some child friendly movie she wants to see.  Dating is much different then it was when I was in my 20's.  A guy would take me out to dinner, maybe go to a show and he would bring me home and we would sit in te car and finish having our conversation.  He would walk me to the door say good night and then go home.  Now, from what I'm hearing dating has a new face, especially among these 20 something's now. Especially in the club setting. Oh, my goodness.  I can't put them all in the same bag. It just makes me ask, "what is dating now?"

I last dated when I was 23 years old.  I then chose to be celibate until I was 25. This is when I discovered Al-Islam and got married to the man who gave me shahada.  I was married four times between the ages of 25 to 34.  I am not ashamed of it. Between me marrying these four men was two years that I was to myself.  These two year intervals  between each man was supposed to be my introspection time, but I kept marrying the same man, just a different body.  I sought a divorce on moral issues.  There were things I saw about them that I morally could not deal with and when I asked about certain things before we got married I was either lied to or told half the story as I would later find out.  The only one who was decent was my third husband. He decided he wanted girlfriends as well.  We are still friends, but I could not be remarried to him again.  He loves women to much, and I'm one that doesn't look back once I walk away unless it was a situation that was just plain childish on both our ends then I would give it a go again, but that hasn't happened yet.

My fear of dealing with men that left me feeling and locking myself away like a hermit was in 2006 with my last husband.  He literally put fear in me concerning men that I never had towards men before in my life.  It was eating me up so much that I had to resolve within myself that I refused to be afraid any longer because of what this one guy did.  I made my resolve and then put into the universe the type of men that I wanted to grace the presence of me and my child.  A year later the universe answered and I met a guy who is a mutual friend to a sister I know.  He and I are now friends, and he has helped renew my faith, but I realize the process of that renewal began with me.  If I didn't release that negative energy that man had shown to me I would be a negative, resentful woman towards men, and its not fair to the opposite sex to let that type of baggage on to them and they had absolutely nothing to do with the way you are feeling now.

So, from 2006 up until September of 2011 I have been a hermit going through introspection of my life and what I want.  It for me was about emotional clearing.  I had to emotionally cleanse myself of all the crap I have been holdiing onto.  I remember my spiritual teacher I was seeing back in 2006 telling me, "You are in a lot of pain.  You have to let go of that fear.  You will let go of the pain.  You must learn to feel. You have to feel."  It was all true what he was telling me.  Alot of us are caught up in just having someone in our lives and we have not yet emotionally healed from whatever it is that has us bound up with that fear.  You can't enjoy the person that you have present in your life if you are afraid of them leaving you. Think they are merely there to make you happy, or that you can't live without them if they spiritually out grow you. If you are comfortable, and happy with yourself, that person who comes and is then present with you then becomes your compliment.  If they leave or spiritually, emotionally out grow you you'll be fine because you were actually fine before they arrived. You have to have an emotional clean slate before you start to seek out anyone else. To learn and take one another for what you/ they are can't be done when you still hanging onto past baggage lugging it around with you. You're still concerned about how someone from your past hurt you and you take that into a present relationship worrying if they will hurt you the same way has set you up for being hurt again because you brought it in with you and you didn't take the time to emotionally cleanse yourself.  You became unfair not only to yourself but to that new person.  You must emotionally heal. The hurt will only re-surface until you stop, look it straight in the situation and deal with it.  Learn from it. Heal from it. Grow from it. Move on and away from it.

 I've meet people who because they had a bad upbringing and mommy wasn't around or doing what she was supposed to do, and you show them some kindness this person became attached, and afraid if i left that he would loose it.  Well, I did leave and he is doing fine.  We have to leaarn to be okay with being alone for a while as well.  When your alone you get to learn more about who you are.

Well, now I'm ready to come out the hermit mode, and start putting myself back out there which I'm finding has changed and its different now for me, because I didn't have a child before.  This is the part where it becomes a litte difficult because even though I want to start meeting people again, I don't believe in putting my child off on my mother.  I do that enough with her picking up and watching her after school.  So, it has brought me into the mind of, it would just be better to have a platonic male relationship.  You get to know the person much better than you would dating them.  With a friendship you get to see the genuine, authenic person instead of meeting the first impression person you get on a date.  You get to see how that person interacts with others on a personal level when they are just hanging out with people they know.  There is no special show being put on, just for your benefit so you'll like them.  You are also building a foundation for your relationship with that person whether it goes beyond a friendshp or not. You also have a foundation.

I had a male friend in high school. I was in the eleventh and he was in the tenth. We had one class together and we would talk in class and still do our work and the teacher didn't mind.  I think she liked the way we interacted with one another as well.  We stayed friends after high school, but it never progressed any further than a friendship because I was not attracted to him any more than on a friend basis.  He had a beautiful personality, funny, and he was nice looking, intelligent.  I remember he took me out on a date and it just felt strange.  That's when I knew that it wouldn't be anymore than what it was already.   I moved to Georgia and we lost touch.  I want a friendship with a guy first.  I just think that is so important if anything is going to last.  It may not be for you, but dating for me just seems superfical and sexual.  I may not want to have sex with you that week, two weeks from then or even a month from meeting you.  Sex is sacred, so I consider my celibacy a virtue.  Who ever he is he must accept. No manipualtion games, just accept. I consider my womb sacred and not a deposit center for every man's seed.  There's no sign here that says, 'all deposits welcome'.  I'm at the point in my life where just merely having sex is not satisifing enough for me.  I want to expereince Tantra.  I want to experience a spiritual, emotional connection with the man that I am with, and that right there alone is sacred.  Sex is not just screwing everybody just because they look good.  Its not dirty, but it is sacred, and there is a spiritual connection being made.  (This isn't meant to do with just anybody. So a one night stand won't work. This is for a long term partner.)  Exchanging of energies, not just body fluids.  So, there can be no drama attached to him especially since I want to experience Tantra.

 This is where my journey has led me. This is where I am at.  We must get back to building foundations with one another. Learning self-control of just having sex with anybody and not checking them out fully. You could possibly be passing the 'one' for you by just because she said she wants to be just friends.  Hear those words, just friends.  Not a booty call, not your casual sex partner, not your one night stand, but your friend.  Meaning she likes you and wants to get to know the genuine, authentic you, and if you show it to her and stay real with her, you may get her and have her for a while and be truely happy with what you got. She not only knows the genuine, authenic you, you know the genuine, authenic her.

                                                       

Shining Stars

I absolutely love this video because it tells us as parents not to get discouraged because our children are labeled as ADD or ADHD, but to also understand that we have children that ae shining stars and are special and intelligent regardless of what they are being labeled. I had to start this site because they were trying to label my child as ADD. She was a child that just refused to do her school work. I was told by her teacher that she refused to pick up a pencil and write. I went to look for a school with a smalll class size, and I found a school not far from me that offered just that. As I was talking to principal and telling her about my child she said to me that your child sounds as if she has disgraphia. Disgraphia I researched is when a person has a hard time writing and may need special equipment to do there work like a computer. My daughter loves working on computers. I decided not to put her in that school because it was a religious based school and I don't want my child in any type of religious based school. No swipe against those who are or do put there children in religious based schools.

One day sitting in front of my daughters school waiting for the bell to ring, I was listening to a morning talk radio program. The topic was schools earning a fee from your child. They were talking about how the schools refer parents to go see there doctors annd if the child is put on medication like Ritalin the school gets a fee off of that child being put on medication. Needless to say I got angry sitting in my car listening to that and here it was the school she attended was trying to have me do that very thing. So, I say to all parents that there is absolutely nothing wrong with your children. We have a school and medical system trying to make money off our children by medicating them. The medication may "calm" them but its also suppressing emotion. My daughter had a friend who was in her class that was put on Ritalin, and all of a sudden she told me he was threating her for no reason, and saying he was going to beat her up. This was after the medication. Before that there were no such incidents. They were no longer in the same classes together, she said he would see her at lunch or on the playground. Then she said, "Mama he not the same anymore." She could tell the change and didn't know he was being medicated.

One of the things I found that worked with mt daughter was that I HAD to change her diet. I had her focus her attention to that which she loves to do, which is the arts. Drawing, coloring, writing and drawing her own comic book. I am in the process of getting her a guitar. In other words find your child's talent or future aspirations and start working on them now. They want to be a Chef let them cook in the kitchen with you. In other words find your child's talent or future aspirations and start working on them now. In other words find your child's talent or future aspirations and start working on them now. Meditation works well. They may only be able to do it for five minutes but that's okay, its a start. Most important part get them off the white sugar. Its like crack. They eat it, then they're all over the place. Get them outside. I've noticed most schools now don't have recess time, just gym. Let chilldren be children and play and this ADHD would be knocked out. Show love and compassion because these children coming in the world now need our love, compassion, and time.

I found this brother not to long ago that goes in and explains the link of the Public School System and the link with black children rather excellently.  Take a listen for yourself.

Summer Reading

I have been reading quite a bit of fiction this summer but one of the books that stood out for me was one called, Angelology by Danielle Trusson. Angelology took a few pages for me to get into, but once I got into it I could not put it down. This book is a thriller packed with action. Angelology is a book about a group of Angelologist in the 1930's who have hidden a lyre from the Fallen Angels who want this lyre for the abilities that it holds. As time goes by Sister Evangeline has been drawn into the mystery of recovering the lyre that was hidden by the Angelologist of the 1930's, and who the Fallen Angels still want to retrieve. This book is a thrilling and wonderful read. You will be surprised by its outcome as it plays out.

The other book that I have started reading is Last Rituals:An Icelandic Novel of Secret Symbols, Medieval Witchcraft, and Modern Murder by Yrsa Sigurdardottir. It takes place in Iceland and a wealthy families son has been murdered. the family is not satisfied with the suspect that has been sentenced for the death of their son. Amelia Guntlieb hires Thora Gudmundsdottir, a Lawyer. Accepting the case from Amelia, Thora is handed over the case from where investigator Matthew Reich leaves off. So, far its interesting. I'll be blogging back again on whether or not I liked this book or not.











All I have to say about this book is that if you have not read it please do. This is definitely a must read. I love the way that his words flow like prose. I was on an emotional roller coaster ride with his character mariam, and I think you will be too.

Genuine Friendship

My car broke down on me last week, and I'm glad that my job is close by that I can walk to work. So, for four days I didn't have to catch a bus to take babygirl to school and then come way back on my side of town to go to work and then do it all again just to go get her. She stayed with grandma. My job from my house is two miles away, so I walked it to and from. Walking doesn't bother me I'm used to it just ddon't do it much since I've had the car. Well on the way to work one morning I'm enjoying my walk to work, and I noticed a red truck slow down and the guy turned his truck around and got out and said, 'Hi my name is Lorenzo and I thought you where so attractive I wanted to give you my number. You got a boyfriend.' Now why does this only happen when I'm walking and not driving? I told him my name and told him no I didn't have a boyfriend. Flattered by the attention. Made my day a little brighter. I took his number and still have it in my purse. Have not called him yet. I appreciated the way he got out of his truck and spoke to me, I don't like guys who talk to you from there car, makes the whole meeting feel cheap. Nice looking man in his late 30's early 40's.

So, why have I not called this man? Well, I'm in transition with my life spiritually right now, putting together my poetry book, and the last thing I need is a brother to throw me off my transition. I don't need a boyfriend, I just need a friend, platonic. That word just hurt alot of men's ears. Platonic. Yeah, I said it and I meant it. When I'm ready to hook up with someone I need a MAN, not a boyfriend, don't have time to play with anybody. Just need someone here right now who is on the same vibration and wave link that I am, who will be here for me to talk too when I need to talk, scream , cuss, cry, whatever it may be. I LOVE men, but I have to focus on me, and babygirl, and friends are all that I need at this point right now. Lorenzo was looking for a girlfriend, because he kept asking me did I have a boyfriend.

Second, I'm scared. I've been married several times, so what I know is being married. It's been a long time since I did this dating thing, and at this point and time really don't want too. I rather have a genuine friendship with a guy, if that still exist, and get to learn about him that way, then to date him. I've always thought of dating as being really superficial. When the time is right things will work itself out for me, it always does.

Unmasked - Imani Muhammad

I try to write about things other than love
Trying to stay away from love
I’m still looking for someone to ignite that true passion that is locked within me
Holding back unshed tears from heartbreaks past
While I keep reminding myself of the lesson from each relationship
Because if I let the tears fall they would begin to heal a wounded heart
I can’t take the pain from the love that I gave that was misused and ill placed
I should cry
I know I should cry
But I can’t take anymore unbearable pain
So, I throw up shields or should I say facades that mask the pain
Then I met you and became consumed with your energy of visions and dreams that confused me
And then you perplexed me more by referring to me as ‘your like my better half ‘
We just met and yet I feel in tune and locked to your rhythm
Your rhythm of energy
Now finding myself helping to heal your hurt soul
But in dreams years ago
I

SAW

YOU

Or at least I think
Feeling connected and at one with you
Opening up my wounds and facades
Loving how you call me Queen
Unmasking the pain
Healing the wounds with salted tears


© 2008 Imani Muhammad Brown Suga Media

Spiritual Dating

There are dating sites online that cater to whatever one is looking for. I found a dating site online catered to those of us who are spiritual looking for others who are also spiritual. This site is for spiritual, conscious people looking for other spiritual, conscious people.

What is Astrology?

Astrology one of the oldest forms of science there is in regards to learning and studying the universe in relation to us. Astrology is linked back to Greece as the beginning of astrology when in actuality astrology goes back to Sumer, now Iraq. Astrology was the means used in calculating time as well as being used as a star map of the positions of the planets. The twelve zodiac signs came to be out of the twelve surrounding countries around ancient Sumer. Astrology starts back with the http://xfacts.com/updates/planetx2008.html"> Anunnaki who taught the Sumerians the ancient form of astrology. We have only the 12 constellations that we are familiar with, but there is a 13th constellation that goes by the name http://lightworkers.org/blog/90851/so-13th-sign-zodiac-ophiuchus">
Ophiuchus, named after the Egyptian Imhotep. The symbol of the constellation is a man holding a serpent. Imhotep was a physician which is what the snakes on the Caduceus represents that our medical profession uses today.

Astrology and Astronomy where once considered one and the same since they both dealt with the stars and the universe. According to Encarta World English Dictionary the definition of astrology is the, “study of planets and human behavior: the study of the positions of the Moon, Sun, and other planets in the belief that their motions affect human beings.” According to Online Etymology Dictionary astrology is defined as, “late 14c., from astrologia,” from Greek astrologia “telling the stars,” from astron “star” (see astro-) + -logia “treating of,” comb. Form of logon “one who speaks (in a certain manner).” Originally identical with astronomy, it had also a special since of “practical astronomy, astronomy applied to prediction of events.” This was divided into natural astrology “the calculation and foretelling of natural phenomenon” (tides, eclipses, etc.), and judicial astrology “the art of judging occult influences of stars on human affairs” (also known as stromancy, 1650s). Differentiation between astrology and astronomy began late 1400s and by 17c. This word was limited to “reading influences of the stars and their effects on human destiny.” Astrological is recorded from 1590s.”

In astrology each cycle or age is 2150 years before one cycle/age ends and another begins. We have left the age of Pisces and have entered into the age of Aquarius. Pisces represented the fish, I AM while the age of Aquarius is the age of I Know, the water bearer. The pouring forth of knowledge. The constellations are the star maps that ancient civilazations used and one that some still use such as the Dogon in Africa. It is the alignment of the stars that have lead to the phrase, “As Above So Below”.

In some religions it may seem to have picked up an bad reputation as being “evil” when Christianity and Islam are actually books of astronomy and astrology. “Berose an astrologer from Chaldea spread astrology throughout http://www.destinytarot.com/articles/astrology_and_religion.htm”> Greece. In Greece astrology was one with religion. It was later on that the Christian church fought hard to separate astrology and religion.

There are many places in the Quran and the Bible which speak of astrology, so how can it be perceived as being wrong or “evil” when astrology/astronomy are used in these books. The Bible Genesis 1.14, Job 38:32, Numbers 9:2. In the Quran Surah 67:5, Surah 16:16, Surah 67:5, Surah Yunus: 101. These are a few verses of the signs of astrology in the Bible and the Quran. As Above So Below. Our ancestors where guided by the night sky.






http://www.astrologyweekly.com/- free online astrology books, and free astrology books for download
http://www.stariq.com/AstrologicalStudies.htm-For those who want to go more in depth with the study of astrology. This site offers an extensive collection of articles.
Don’t be scared of the approaching 2012. The movie is just a scare tactic or is it. Find out about the future of the new earth in this E-book.

Here are more books for those interested in learning more about the world of astrology.

Astrology for Beginners: A Simple way to Read your Chart