By D. I. Muhammad
Have you ever wondered why the marriage license was implemented and what ancient cultures did to establish their union?
This is a very interesting subject for me that has penetrated my thoughts for some time now. It became even more interesting because I needed to understand how marriages used to work and how they formed into what they have become now.
When I practiced Islam, I had four Nikahs (marriages). They all were performed on the basis of dowry, witnesses, and consummation of the couple in order to be considered valid. There was no paperwork involved from the State level.
As I was departing from the Islamic community, Imams were starting to state during Jummah ( Friday prayer), that they would no longer marry a couple unless they had a marriage license from the state.
What had been a long culture seen as the unification of God and couple was now, in real time being formed into something else.
There was a reason behind it. According to the Imams asking for a marriage license before marriage, men were not practicing their due diligence and marrying women not being accountable for the relationship they were placing her in. They were placing the woman in a polygamous relationship, but were not properly supporting the first wife. Imams were tired of women running to them with this complaint. So, it now came to the protection of the woman, which now brought about the decree of, " If you want to get married, you must now go down to the City Hall and obtain a marriage license." The Imams were starting to see an abuse of structure taking place. It was an abuse of structure that Muslim woman in a polygamous relationships already understood. Either they accepted it, or they made the complaint known to their Imam.
The state of marriage was going from community, sanctioned by God to State- level restrictions, a money game, dowry being given, couple being married before God, then consummation of the marriage.
The way out of a marriage was that dowry be returned, The man talaqs the woman ( proclaims, " I divorce you" three times), The man abandons the woman or there is no sexual intimacy for 3 months. The marriage is automatically dissolved without a talaq from the man.
Marriages were never considered permanent, whether among the ancients or now, but there was always a line of respect between the couple. In any relationship people tend to grow apart or are separated by death.
Come, go on an exploration of marriage with me to discover how they have been performed throughout time. How the marriage license came to be. To understand any parallel alignments we still have in our system of marriage today to those of ancient times, and what can one do if they want to get married, but just not under the system that's in place now.
Before temples were built, before priests were ordained, and long before any government issued a document declaring two people bound to one another, there exists a cosmological record that describes how the first unions were formed. Whether you receive what follows as myth, ancient memory, or literal spiritual history will depend entirely on where you stand. But regardless of your position, the structure it reveals deserves examination. Because embedded in these oldest of stories is a picture of union that required no church, no state, and no contract only authority, consent, and consummation. And that picture will matter when we begin tracing how marriage moved from something sacred and communal into something regulated and licensed.
