Are You Gonna Speak or Not?

      There is this this security guard at a supermarket who is very attractive. We caught notice of one another two years ago now, and when we locked eyes I felt a feeling come over me that I have never felt with a man in all my life. There was this magnetic pull and thevibe was very surreal.   Well every since then we have been playing this game called "I spy you".   I spy you is when you quickly check out the other person when they're not looking.  Crazy I know.   It got to the point where he would follow me to check me out, or one day last year as I was standing by the refrigerator section he came and stood 2 feet away from me. So I got tried of playing this game and decided I would speak. We both to old for these games.  So as I was leaving the store I turned and looked his direction smiled and said hi.  He was taken off guard.  The next month I came back he wouldn't even look my direction.  I guess he was still embarrassed to be taken off guard.  So the ball was thrown into his court and he still holding the damn ball.  I know he's still interested because he is still checking me out. At times he walks right behind me two feet away.  Its like he wants to say something but to shy or not sure how to because he might get rejected.

     I spoke to you. I said hi to you. I check you out too. I look to see if you are there when I walk into the store. Its been a long time since I dated and I am used to men approaching me not just staring at me. Its like he is unsure.

     I love to go grocery shopping because that is my me time. I can relax. I am in no rush. I can connect with my thoughts while I shop, but when I see him he brings a new aspect to the whole experience.  If I go in stressed and see him it all dissipates.  I have learned he is my whoo-sa.  Nothing that happened during my day matters anymore.

    It even got to the point that I stopped shopping at the store he works at for two months, hoping that he would muster up the courage when he saw me again to speak.  Did it work? No. When I returned it was just a look of "she's OK She's back."..  We are in our late 30's early 40's and I get being cautious on who you try to date or BRI ng into your life, but we both interested in getting to know one another.  The ball is in his court. He just needs to stop traveling and make the move.