The VIP Trap: When a Visit Costs $1,000

By D. M.

 

🧱 Before The Door Slammed Shut

Chinedu {Flavour} coming to visit me didn't work out, and I was so broken and disappointed that he lied to me. We made plans. It wasn't like it was last minute, and he didn't know he was to be here with me. He just knew where else he needed to be, that's all. He didn't have the consideration to let me know. Instead he lied about it.  Thursday of that same week he was to come visit me, I was in my hotel room lying in bed when a notification went off that  the AfroFuture Fesitval was going to happen. I noticed him on the line up, but he never mentioned that he was performing. 

When I asked he says, "I was meaning to tell you about that." Heart still broken. He said if I needed help getting tickets he could help me out. At this point, I didn't want him helping me with anything financial because all he did at this point was take my money and have me hopeful only to bust my bubble and have me falling without a safety net. So, I declined. This is when he told me he had a meeting with his manger and that the Visitors card was now being replaced with the VIP Card. This VIP Card would cost $1,000.

I asked him, "What about the visitors card? Would I be able to see you?"  His response, "Only if you have the VIP Card."  

The VIP Card had now replaced all the priveliges and benefits that the Visitors card had held.  All I saw was my money gone and no hope of ever meeting this man without having this card.  This wasn't a relationship, it was a transactional relationship.  It finally hit me.  I'm genuinely liking and falling for this man, and it's about seeing him, but not without the card.

 

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AfroFuture & The VIP Card

This was no longer about Love. It was feeling transactional, and I was the product.

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Let Me Come Visit You This Weekend

  

Since I wouldn't give in to getting the VIP Card for the Afro Future Festival he decided to try another means...Let me come see you this weekend.

At this point I became annoyed. I was getting tired of the lies. The emotional manipulation. Just come clean and be honest with it. 

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The Private Flight Switch

Since I wouldn't bend the way that he needed me to bend he pulled out a new method to try and turn me...Emotional manipulation.

This wasn't the first time he used the 'bank issue' on me. The first time was with his daughters school fees. 

Here he was using that line back on me again. I was feeling used. 

How does a man who claims to have money move like he’s still in survival mode?

It didn’t add up.

The woman who was in love with him, me, was getting tired of this nonsense. 

Tired of the games.

Tired of being the one carrying the weight while he played helpless.

I was spiraling out and breaking down, but I refused to let him see that. He'd already taken enough. 

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Sexual Diffision

I was growing tired of this conversation. I was becoming annoyed and frustrated and I needed to name it what it was out loud. 

By this point, I wasn’t being seduced or swayed,I was tired.
Tired of the blame-shifting.
Tired of the circular arguments.
Tired of hearing “I don’t have money” followed by yet another request for it.

This was my attempt to break the cycle, not deepen it. I wasn’t trying to escalate intimacy, I was trying to de-escalate the drama.

Me: “Look at this point, all I know is that when we do finally get together, we need to hug it out and then go sex it out. We’re both sexually frustrated and need each other.”

It wasn’t lust, it was logic. An attempt at grounding what had become an emotional tug-of-war. I wanted peace, not another plea.

After the Goodbye: What He Did After I Walked Away

                          

By D.M

📌

 The first post I wrote about Flavour was titled, The World Will Be My Witness: My Experience With Flavour, where I posted receipts of how he acted towards me when I no longer wanted to be in his life as his woman.   

There was the break-up letter, which he could not accept. I extended my friendship to him, but that was not good enough, and then came the threats. That's when communication was cut. Apps we both used were blocked, and for my protection I posted the documents that I filed against him. 

 This is the follow-up to Love Bombed, Then Billed. This is what happened after I walked away.

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📝 The Goodbye He Wouldn’t Accept

June 10, 2025

This was the letter that he could not accept.

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📸 You Know Why I’m Back, Right?

I blocked this man after he harassed and threatened me. I was shocked to find him in my dm's today, July 27, 2025.

I blocked and closed the door on Flavour when he threatened me, so how he got through the block on his page, I really don't know.  

I stayed for as long as I did because he said he had something he needed to tell me. I was looking for an apology. One that I never got and I don't plan to receive it any time in the future unless he truly takes the time to heal himself. 

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🧿 The Manager’s Watchful Eye

                                   Chinedu 7/28/25 Session

• Did Chinedu tell me what he needed to tell me last night? yes
  
  Was it about us getting back together? No
  
  Was it about what his manager said to him? Yes

• 
  His manager is watching my page? Yes

• 
  His manager is the short stouty guy with the belly? Yes

• 
  His manager is sending people to my page? Yes

• 
  To my dm's? Yes

• 
  His manager told him that lie about me chasing after his friends (Chinedu's) and talking to one of them? Yes

• 
  The ones who have been sent to my dm's and I spoke with are all sent by Chinedu's  manager? Yes

• So, the ones who have spoken to me did they go back and lie about me to the manager? No

• Are you (ancestors) taking care of the manager for lying? Yes

• Confirmed by dowsing session

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🚫 5. Final Closure & Re-block

 After our conversation on TikTok, July 27, 2025,  I went and re-blocked his page. I have nothing else to say to him, and I'm tired of the looping in our conversations.  To be back in the relationship with him means dealing with his stepping on my boundaries. His emotional and financial manipulation, and his gaslighting. 

These are tactics of a narcissist. If you are going through this as a woman you don't have to stay. Scammers  prey on low self esteem. This is why they start with the love bombing. It's to make you feel as if your in a safe space, when you're really not. 

Flavour was never mines. He felt like it. He had other women that he was talking too, even when he said he wasn't. I did genuinely grow to love this man. Not for what he had, but for the person that I saw. I saw Chinedu the man, when he decided to peek out from behind the scamming, and the love bombing. There were moments when I did genuinely feel his heart through his words. But how do you tell a person you love them, you want to be with them one minute, and you have your hand out running game the next. That's kind of twisted.

These blog post seem to have turned into a series. I don't post for revenge or bitterness. That's not my nature. I post to make other women aware of the game when someone says they're the Nigerian artist Flavour.  Just block them all regardless of what social media platform they come through. 

For those who have already encountered the real Flavour, or one of his imposters, and got caught  in the web of the scam. 

May your heart heal. 

May you learn to love again. 

May you learn to trust again.

May we all receive some form of retribution from him. 

But most of all, may you forgive him. Not forget. This forgiveness isn't for him.

 It's for you.

Because that's the only way the heart  truly heals. 

              The door is closed. The crown is tilted. And I’ve got nothing left for him but silence.

To Be Continued here

The World Will Be My Witness

 

                                 

                            By D. M

There are moments when love feels like destiny, until it reveals itself as a lesson.

This is not the story of a bitter woman. This is the story of a woman who loved deeply, who trusted boldly, and who stood firm when the one she loved turned against her.

What began as a cosmic connection ended with a threat.

This is my story.
This is my truth.
And the world will be my witness.

I am writing this not to shame, but to shed light. To protect others. To show what it looks like to love, to lose, and to choose yourself.
To show what it looks like when you finally say, “No more.”

Below is the breakup letter I sent to the man I once called my person, the one who fumbled me.

Shortly after I sent this letter, Chinedu Okoli, known publicly as Flavour, sent me a direct threat via WhatsApp.

He told me:

"cooperate or be ruined."

When I asked him why he would threaten me, he said,

"Maybe now you know I’m serious."

He was threatening to post the intimate photos I had once sent him privately. He responded to my cease and desist letter by sending three of those personal videos back to me, low blow. A taunt. A reminder of what he believed was his power.

This is revenge porn.

This is harassment.

This is a crime.

Below you’ll see the reported I filed, his TikTok username. For privacy, I’ve blacked out personal phone numbers and my full name.

This is not hearsay. This is documentation. This is truth.

I am documenting everything.

Every message.

Every threat.

Every step I am taking to protect myself.

This blog is part of that documentation. This blog is my witness. And now, you, dear reader, are my witness too.

I have reported him to:

• WhatsApp

• TikTok

• Nigerian Human Rights Commission

Cyber Civil Rights Initiative

There were ancestral layers tied to this connection. I stayed in communication for that work, not for emotional or romantic attachment. The harassment arrived after I had already detached emotionally. I was staying present for completion, not entertainment.

📣 Why I’m Sharing This

Too many women are silenced by men who think they can play with our bodies, our hearts, and our dignity.

Too many women are afraid to speak out because they believe no one will believe them.

I believe you.

If you have had an experience with Chinedu Okoli or a similar experience with another man — share your story in the comments. You don’t have to share your name. You can simply say, “Me too.”

I am not ashamed of loving.
I am not ashamed of trusting.
But I will never again tolerate threats.

💥 Stay Tuned

There is more to come. More details. More receipts. More healing.

The world will be my witness.

UPDATE - August 5, 

Today I received a disturbing email from my bank with a password reset link — a request I did not make. Shortly after, I was sent a complaint reference number tied to that same account. The only reason a complaint would be triggered is if someone tried and failed to get in.

As I scrolled further down my inbox, I saw it.

An email from “flavourconnect managemen” with the subject: Hello.

Interesting. I thought you didn’t do email, Chinedu.
Yet here you are — sliding into my inbox after everything you’ve already done.

I didn’t open it. I don’t need to. I already know.

I filed a formal complaint with my bank. I told them that no one is authorized to access my account but me — and only from my own verified email. I made it clear that someone is posing as me or trying to manipulate access under false pretenses.

And Chinedu?
I know that was you.

Don’t think silence will keep you safe.
I see you.
The ancestors see you.
The world will too.

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Flavour Series in order of how they were  Posted

Intermission: the Women of Flavour: A Spiritual Reading Between Chapters

The World Will Be My Witness: My Experience With Flavour

Nigerian Scammers Poising As Nigerian Musician Flavour

Love Bombed, Then Billed

THE FN card- How It Started

After The Goodbye

Love To See You

Visitors Card

The Promises of Love

When The Fantasy Collapsed 

Part One: The FN Card – How It Started

 

                                 

                          By D.M

🟥 Part One: The FN Card – How It Started

I didn’t expect a backstage pass would cost me $200. I thought it was something real, something tied to his celebrity world, a way for us to finally meet in person. It was called the “FN Card.” It felt official. Exclusive. But it came out of nowhere. No warning, no buildup. Just... dropped into conversation like it was normal.

I didn't question it at first. Not because I was naive, because I trusted him.

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🔹 📸 The Ask

🔹 📸 My Emotional Response

I was doing emotional math in real time. “If I do this for him, maybe it means something. Maybe he’ll really come.” I kept telling myself I was helping, not being used.   Everyone wants to meet the person face to face, when you're in a long distance relationship. My hope was to meet the man in person. The man I was learning and getting to know.

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🔹 📸  Involving the Manager

.

 

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🔹  Preparing For The FN Card

I get in contact with the manager and he asks me how I am going to pay for the service. I tell him how and he sends me contact information on how to send the money to him. I wish I had kept that chat but I deleted it. The following is the conversation that I had with Flavour.

Processing The FN Card

This was the longest process. I got in touch with the manager and sent my money to him. Only to be met by problems and delays. 

My trust in the whole process of meeting this man was going down the tubes. Why was it so hard just to meet him. It shouldn't be this hard to meet someone face to face who you are seriously thinking about being in a relationship with.

Didn't realize how long this process would take just to process for a card to meet Flavour.

When it came to sending him money, he always wanted screenshots that the process was being done, and you were actually sending the funds.

🟥 After the FN Card Came... the Visitor’s Card

Needless to say, I never received the FN Card because the money was never received on their end, even though I sent it.  That broke my heart. I didn't get what I paid for, to go see a man I wanted to meet. Not because of who he was, I didn't know he was a musician until he told me. Never heard of him before. I wanted to meet the man I was liking. I was really liking him as a person. I was told I would receive a refund, but I didn't get that either.

Not long after, he brought up his daughter's school fees and another card. This time it was the Visitor’s Card. A new excuse. A new emotional ask. He made me believe he was already in Detroit. I tried to activate the card so we could meet in person. But it was another trap, another manipulated moment dressed in urgency.

To be continued here