The Performance of Love: Promises, Pressure, and the Price I Paid

 

                       

                        By D. M.

Shattered Trust

I wanted to believe he was serious. That all the talk about visiting, about the daughters coming, the concert appearances, the "management" and the promises, were real. I gave grace, again and again, until grace started to cost me my peace. Behind every sweet word was a setup. Behind every setup, a request. And behind every request… a lie. This is the unraveling of how it all began to collapse, not just financially, but spiritually and emotionally.

I stayed longer than I should have because I hoped I was wrong. I wasn’t.

The VIP Trap: When a Visit Costs $1,000

By D. M.

 

🧱 Before The Door Slammed Shut

Chinedu {Flavour} coming to visit me didn't work out, and I was so broken and disappointed that he lied to me. We made plans. It wasn't like it was last minute, and he didn't know he was to be here with me. He just knew where else he needed to be, that's all. He didn't have the consideration to let me know. Instead he lied about it.  Thursday of that same week he was to come visit me, I was in my hotel room lying in bed when a notification went off that  the AfroFuture Fesitval was going to happen. I noticed him on the line up, but he never mentioned that he was performing. 

When I asked he says, "I was meaning to tell you about that." Heart still broken. He said if I needed help getting tickets he could help me out. At this point, I didn't want him helping me with anything financial because all he did at this point was take my money and have me hopeful only to bust my bubble and have me falling without a safety net. So, I declined. This is when he told me he had a meeting with his manger and that the Visitors card was now being replaced with the VIP Card. This VIP Card would cost $1,000.

I asked him, "What about the visitors card? Would I be able to see you?"  His response, "Only if you have the VIP Card."  

The VIP Card had now replaced all the priveliges and benefits that the Visitors card had held.  All I saw was my money gone and no hope of ever meeting this man without having this card.  This wasn't a relationship, it was a transactional relationship.  It finally hit me.  I'm genuinely liking and falling for this man, and it's about seeing him, but not without the card.

 

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AfroFuture & The VIP Card

This was no longer about Love. It was feeling transactional, and I was the product.

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Let Me Come Visit You This Weekend

  

Since I wouldn't give in to getting the VIP Card for the Afro Future Festival he decided to try another means...Let me come see you this weekend.

At this point I became annoyed. I was getting tired of the lies. The emotional manipulation. Just come clean and be honest with it. 

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The Private Flight Switch

Since I wouldn't bend the way that he needed me to bend he pulled out a new method to try and turn me...Emotional manipulation.

This wasn't the first time he used the 'bank issue' on me. The first time was with his daughters school fees. 

Here he was using that line back on me again. I was feeling used. 

How does a man who claims to have money move like he’s still in survival mode?

It didn’t add up.

The woman who was in love with him, me, was getting tired of this nonsense. 

Tired of the games.

Tired of being the one carrying the weight while he played helpless.

I was spiraling out and breaking down, but I refused to let him see that. He'd already taken enough. 

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Sexual Diffision

I was growing tired of this conversation. I was becoming annoyed and frustrated and I needed to name it what it was out loud. 

By this point, I wasn’t being seduced or swayed,I was tired.
Tired of the blame-shifting.
Tired of the circular arguments.
Tired of hearing “I don’t have money” followed by yet another request for it.

This was my attempt to break the cycle, not deepen it. I wasn’t trying to escalate intimacy, I was trying to de-escalate the drama.

Me: “Look at this point, all I know is that when we do finally get together, we need to hug it out and then go sex it out. We’re both sexually frustrated and need each other.”

It wasn’t lust, it was logic. An attempt at grounding what had become an emotional tug-of-war. I wanted peace, not another plea.

After the Goodbye: What He Did After I Walked Away

                          

By D.M

📌

 The first post I wrote about Flavour was titled, The World Will Be My Witness: My Experience With Flavour, where I posted receipts of how he acted towards me when I no longer wanted to be in his life as his woman.   

There was the break-up letter, which he could not accept. I extended my friendship to him, but that was not good enough, and then came the threats. That's when communication was cut. Apps we both used were blocked, and for my protection I posted the documents that I filed against him. 

 This is the follow-up to Love Bombed, Then Billed. This is what happened after I walked away.

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📝 The Goodbye He Wouldn’t Accept

June 10, 2025

This was the letter that he could not accept.

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📸 You Know Why I’m Back, Right?

I blocked this man after he harassed and threatened me. I was shocked to find him in my dm's today, July 27, 2025.

I blocked and closed the door on Flavour when he threatened me, so how he got through the block on his page, I really don't know.  

I stayed for as long as I did because he said he had something he needed to tell me. I was looking for an apology. One that I never got and I don't plan to receive it any time in the future unless he truly takes the time to heal himself. 

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🧿 The Manager’s Watchful Eye

                                   Chinedu 7/28/25 Session

• Did Chinedu tell me what he needed to tell me last night? yes
  
  Was it about us getting back together? No
  
  Was it about what his manager said to him? Yes

• 
  His manager is watching my page? Yes

• 
  His manager is the short stouty guy with the belly? Yes

• 
  His manager is sending people to my page? Yes

• 
  To my dm's? Yes

• 
  His manager told him that lie about me chasing after his friends (Chinedu's) and talking to one of them? Yes

• 
  The ones who have been sent to my dm's and I spoke with are all sent by Chinedu's  manager? Yes

• So, the ones who have spoken to me did they go back and lie about me to the manager? No

• Are you (ancestors) taking care of the manager for lying? Yes

• Confirmed by dowsing session

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🚫 5. Final Closure & Re-block

 After our conversation on TikTok, July 27, 2025,  I went and re-blocked his page. I have nothing else to say to him, and I'm tired of the looping in our conversations.  To be back in the relationship with him means dealing with his stepping on my boundaries. His emotional and financial manipulation, and his gaslighting. 

These are tactics of a narcissist. If you are going through this as a woman you don't have to stay. Scammers  prey on low self esteem. This is why they start with the love bombing. It's to make you feel as if your in a safe space, when you're really not. 

Flavour was never mines. He felt like it. He had other women that he was talking too, even when he said he wasn't. I did genuinely grow to love this man. Not for what he had, but for the person that I saw. I saw Chinedu the man, when he decided to peek out from behind the scamming, and the love bombing. There were moments when I did genuinely feel his heart through his words. But how do you tell a person you love them, you want to be with them one minute, and you have your hand out running game the next. That's kind of twisted.

These blog post seem to have turned into a series. I don't post for revenge or bitterness. That's not my nature. I post to make other women aware of the game when someone says they're the Nigerian artist Flavour.  Just block them all regardless of what social media platform they come through. 

For those who have already encountered the real Flavour, or one of his imposters, and got caught  in the web of the scam. 

May your heart heal. 

May you learn to love again. 

May you learn to trust again.

May we all receive some form of retribution from him. 

But most of all, may you forgive him. Not forget. This forgiveness isn't for him.

 It's for you.

Because that's the only way the heart  truly heals. 

              The door is closed. The crown is tilted. And I’ve got nothing left for him but silence.

To Be Continued here