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Monday, August 15, 2016

What Men Won't Say



      I found this article online published by Madamnoire called, "Turn-Offs Men Rarely Tell Women They Have". Now I found this article interesting and I will list the fourteen items, and add my opinion afterwards. You can check out the links they give by going to their webpage.

1.Hair Issues ~This survey suggests that the hair down there is a deal breaker for more men than we thought. And those preferences are hard to talk about, especially in the beginning. If you’re flexible about personal grooming, asking him what he likes may be an easier way to bring up the subject. ( I personally have never meet a man that had a problem with hair on a woman vagina. Most men love it. I have yet to met one that doesn't.  Any Man that likes a shaved vagina is a man that is heavily into porn or he's got a thing for children, because those the only two groups I'm aware of with a clean vagina.)

2.Your Level of Effort ~If you’re high maintenance and he likes down to earth (or vice versa), a man rarely comes out and says “You’re not putting in enough effort” or “You’re doing too much.  ( I personally feel like depending on how he met you and if he really had a conversation with you, or was just drawn in by your good looks, most men should be able to decipher after being around you how "high or low maintenance" you are.)

3.So Called Nagging~Some men can’t handle constructive criticism of any kind. Instead of discussing the issue, some clam up whenever you bring up something that needs to change in your relationship. Too much talk of doing better and they might pretend to hear you, only to eventually bail on you. ( I kind of argee with this one. It just depends on his maturity level)

4. People Criticizing Watching~Some men find gossipy criticism of others to be a turn-off, even if you are speaking facts. ( As women we tend to talk to our men like our best girlfriend, and I think that's a good thing. He should be there to listen instead of you taking your issues to the streets.  After listening being that a man is a problem solver he should be able to give you give advise on what you should or shouldn't do.)

5.Sexual Positions~Whether you’re too adventurous or not adventurous enough, he might not tell you about the hiccups in your sex life. If something feels off, you might have to be the one to ask. ( Getting into a relationship with a person and before being sexual with them you should have discussed what you like what you don't like.  Been in a sexual relationship with a person for a while then you should be able to sit them down and talk to them about any "hiccups".  Grown ass people. Need to start communicating.)

6.Your Independence~Some men need an independent woman. Others have trouble saying “I need to be needed” when it looks like you have things handled on your own and don’t want their input. And in that case, it might be time to ask yourself this serious question about your relationship. ( Again Communication)

7.Your Bank Account~Sometimes “I’m uncomfortable that you make more money than me” comes out as “You think you’re better than me.” Criticisms of this kind might tip you off to the fact that he’s turned off about not being the breadwinner. ( This goes hand in hand with #6. )

8. Your Commitment Goals~ When you’re serious about the future, it’s good to be clear in the beginning. Men who aren’t ready tend to exhibit these signs instead of having a serious conversation about their fears and what they aren’t prepared for.

9. How His Mother Feels About You~Things changed shortly after you met his mom, but all he says is “I’m sure she likes you…” Some men have trouble navigating romantic relationships and family. If you have a feeling his folks are the issue and they’re pulling him away from you, it might be time to try these techniques for when his family just isn’t that.    ( If a Man likes you and takes you home to introduce you to his Mother, he wants to make sure she likes you because he is likely thinking about marrying you sometime down the road, and wants to make sure you can get along with his mother. If his mother is deceased he will have some type of Mother figure there in his life.)

10. Your Weight~
This one can go either way. Whether you’ve put on a few pounds as you got comfortable in the relationship or you’ve dropped serious weight and look smaller, he may quietly be bothered by your new look. In an effort to avoid sounding shallow, he may never give you the reason for his new ‘tude.
( I would think he would love you regardless.)

11. Your Issues With His Friends~When you and the crew really don’t get along, sometimes it feels like the only thing to do is be honest about the friction. And when that’s not cool with him, he’s more likely to become distant than say “I choose my friends.” ( Depending on how long a man has had these friends in his life they are like a extended family for him, just as her friends are like an extended family for her.  He just wants to know that his woman and his friends can coexist together in harmony.)

12. Your Hair~So you decided to make a drastic change to your hair and your significant other claims “It’s Ok.” But then he starts making comments about what you’re going to do with it and gives you weird looks during wash day. Suffice it to say, he’s not too pleased with your latest style or look. ( How I feel. It's your hair. Men are attracted to how they first met you, so it doesn't hurt to get his input on what he thinks. It's like giving him a heads up before you make the move and do something drastic. Like cut it all off or dye it a some bright color.)

13. Your " Number"~Some guys just can’t deal. The tough part? You normally don’t find out that they’re bothered by such things until after you’ve told them. And few men are willing to openly admit what digit they draw the line at — even if they think yours has crossed it. ( Don't really want to know then don't ask. It goes for her as well.)

14. Your Shows~Most guys will play nice and watch along. Sometimes you have to look closely to see whether he’s enjoying your time together with Real Housewives on or if he’s secretly feeling as though he’s being tortured.

Bottom Line: I didn't commit on some of these points because it all boils down to communication. Talking to your mate or the person you dating is key here. Your mate talking about themselves to you should not bother or annoy them. That's why the two of you are together which is to learn and to grow with one another.  It also boils down to maturity level as well. There are men in there 40's who act mature and some you do not. Just as there are some 20 year olds who are mature and some who are not.  If you can not talk to the person who you are with then you just shouldn't be a relationship with anyone but yourself.

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