Series 2
Long before modern governments issued marriage licenses, ancient civilizations were already regulating unions for social order, inheritance, and property. In Sumeria and later in Egypt, marriage was less about romance and more about contracts between families, economic stability, and lineage. Clay tablets, written agreements, and community recognition served as the earliest forms of marital documentation. These early systems reveal how deeply marriage has always been tied to law, property, and society itself.
Marriage in Ancient Egypt and Sumeria
Marriage has been around since the beginning of time. In Ancient Egypt and Sumeria, marriage was enacted between a couple often through arranged unions designed to strengthen alliances between families and tribes. These unions were rooted in intent, dowries, ritual, and sexual union.
Hammurabi Law
The Hammurabi Law was created by the Babylonian King, Amorite of the first dynasty.
The Hammurabi Law was created as a protection for the man, woman, and children. It was more so created to protect the man during marriage more than the woman. The laws therein for the woman was to guard her from more harsher punishment. These laws were meant to not just guard Sumeria, but other countries as well.
Marriage in Sumeria
Marriage in Sumeria was about romance, but it was more about business. It was about keeping and maintaining order. It is stated that a sacred Prostitution took place in order to marry women off to the highest bidder, that some modern scholars still disagree with that notion.
"In order for women and men to marry it started with the families from both sides of the family to come together and work out a bride price ( dowry) for the bride and then to have a feast, but what closed the deal that let everyone know that the two were a established couple was the consummation and living together between the two." ( Love, Sex and Marriage in Ancient Mesopotamia, http://brewminate.com)
The marriage was a legal contract between the bride to the groom, as in the auction where the father was paid the bride price or between two families.
During this time, the State was not involved or concerned about who two people married. Marriage was seen as a business deal between two families. To build alliances.
"Marriages were contracted to formalize business agreements concerning land sales, water rights, mutual protection, or for any agreement the parties understood as mutually beneficial. As business agreements, they were begun with a legal contract signed by the heads of the households in the presence of witnesses, the bride and groom usually had nothing to do with the proceedings, and, afterwards, the ceremony could move forward. From the first moment a union between families was agreed to, the marriage process had five steps that had to be observed in accordance with tradition to be considered valid:
• Engagement/marriage contract
• Payment of the bride-price to father-of-the-bride and of the dowry to father-of-the-groom
• Ceremony and wedding feast
• Bride moves to her father-in-law’s home
• Sexual intercourse the night of the wedding with the expectation the bride would become pregnant." (The Family in Ancient Mesopotamia, Joshua Mark, http://worldhistory.org)"
The bride was considered to be a virgin and was not tied legally to another that it would void the marriage. Once the bride price was paid the bride nor the groom was able to intervene.
"Engagements were serious business in Babylonia, especially for those who might have a change of heart. According to Hammurabi’s Code, a suitor who changed his mind would forfeit his entire deposit (betrothal gift) and bride-price. If the prospective father-in-law changed his mind, he had to pay the disappointed suitor double the bride-price. Furthermore, if a rival suitor persuaded the father-in-law to change his mind, not only did the father-in-law have to pay double, but the rival wasn’t allowed to marry the daughter. These legal penalties acted as a potent deterrent against changes of heart and a powerful incentive for both responsible decision making and orderly social behavior. " ( http://worldhistory.org)
"128. If a man take a woman to wife, but have no intercourse with her, this woman is no wife to him." (Hammurabi Code of Law, https://avalon.law.yale.edu/ancient/hamframe.asp)
Sex in Ancient Sumeria was very liberal. Couples could be intimate in any fashion that they deemed they wanted to with their mate. Same-sex relationships were also not frown upon. Sex in Ancient Sumeria was not viewed as taboo or disgusting.
Homosexual love could be enjoyed" without fear of social stigma", and texts mention men "preferring to take the female role" in sex.
Further, he writes, "Various unusual positions could be adopted: 'standing'; 'on a chair'; 'across the bed or the partner'; 'taking her from behind' or even 'sodomising her', and sodomy, defined as anal intercourse, was a common form of contraceptive. He further goes on
it could happen that an eccentric setting was chosen…instead of keeping to your favourite place, the bedroom. You might take it into your head to 'make love on the roof-terrace of the house'; or 'on the threshold of the door'; or 'right in the middle of a field or orchard', or 'in some deserted place'; or 'a no through road'; or even `in the middle of the street', either with just any woman on whom you had 'pounced' or with a prostitute. (Bottéro, 100)
Bottéro further points out:
Making love was a natural activity, as culturally ennobled as food was elevated by cuisine. Why on earth should one feel demeaned or diminished, or guilty in the eyes of the gods, practicing it in whatever way one pleased, always provided that no third party was harmed or that one was not infringing any of the customary prohibitions which controlled daily life."( Love, Sex and Marriage in Ancient Mesopotamia, Joshua J. Mark, http://worldhistory.org)
This frame of thought would later transfer over into Islam. In the Quran it states:
Surah Al-Baqarah 2:187: "It is permissible for you to have sexual intercourse with your wives on the nights of fasting. They are garments for you, and you are garments for them".
Surah Al-Baqarah 2:223: "Your wives are a place of sowing of seed for you, so come to your place of cultivation however you wish and put forth [righteousness] for yourselves".
Where Islam draws the line would be homosexuality. What Muslims use to draw this conclusion is the story of Lut (Lot) which in Al-Afrah says:
"And ˹remember˺ when Lot scolded ˹the men of˺ his people, ˹saying,˺ “Do you commit a shameful deed that no man has ever done before?
You lust after men instead of women! You are certainly transgressors.
But his people’s only response was to say, “Expel them from your land! They are a people who wish to remain chaste!” (Chapter 7, verses 80-82)
In Ancient Sumeria homosexuality was not an issue. Couples of the same sex were married, but some of the same privileges a straight couple had they didn't.
"...there were no prohibitions against gay sex and, as Bottero notes, “Homosexual love could be enjoyed” without stigma (101). The goddess Inanna (later Ishtar) was famous for turning men into women and women into men and her clergy were bisexual or transgender in keeping with Inanna’s association with transformation. The only stigma attached to gay sex was engaging in a same-sex relationship with someone of a higher or lower class than oneself but this same applied to opposite-sex couples. Intimacy between classes posed a problem because it violated the rules of social hierarchy but there is nothing in the records condemning gay couples or gay sex except in the case of a man of a higher class “playing the part of a woman” with one of a lower class. Otherwise, as Bottero writes: 'Making love was a natural activity, as culturally ennobled as food was elevated by cuisine. Why on earth should one feel demeaned or diminished or guilty in the eyes of the gods, practicing it in whatever way one pleased, always provided that no third party was harmed or that one was not infringing any of the customary prohibitions which controlled daily life.' " (http://worldhistory.org)
The structure of marriage was distinct. Those in a same sex relationship in Sumeria were able to have there union, but it was the only union that was allowed. The state only acknowledged heterosexual unions the luxury of marriage. This was considered a time of sexual liberation. Even before the Church enters stage right, the system in place expressed what and who was worthy of marriage.
Women of Sumeria during this time had equal rights to men, were able to have property, file for divorce, but with stipulations.
"Women had nearly equal rights throughout most of the history of ancient Mesopotamia but if a woman deserted her husband and took a lover, she was severely punished while the same did not apply to a man. If a woman were caught in the act of adultery, she would be bound to her lover and thrown into the river or otherwise executed. A woman could divorce a man if she found he were gay and had no interest in sleeping with her. As procreation was the goal of marriage, a man who refused to sleep with his wife was thought to have broken the marriage contract." (http://worldhistory.org)
Divorce in Sumeria could be viewed as unfair and cruel to the woman. The man, if he decided to leave could, but he had to return the wife's property. If the woman decided she wanted to leave without legal grounds she was forced from the house to live on the streets. She would not be entitled to any type of restitution. If there was legal grounds for leaving she was able to file for a divorce.
"If a man chose to leave his wife, he had to provide for her (except in cases of adultery or abandonment) by returning her property (dowry) and, as noted, could have as many sexual partners as he could afford but if a woman even expressed the thought of leaving her husband, unless there were legal grounds, she could be forced from the family home to live on the streets, often with no choice but to make a living as a prostitute. At the same time, a woman could initiate divorce proceedings if she had legal grounds, own her own land, enter into business contracts, buy and sell slaves, and operate businesses. The first brewers in Mesopotamia were women and there are records of women owning taverns, farms, and other enterprises." (http://worldhistory.org)
The following on Divorce is from the Hammurabi Code of Law.
"137) If a man wish to separate from a woman who has borne him children, or from his wife who has borne him children: then he shall give that wife her dowry, and a part of the usufruct of field, garden, and property, so that she can rear her children. When she has brought up her children, a portion of all that is given to the children, equal as that of one son, shall be given to her. She may then marry the man of her heart. [Source: Translated by L. W. King]
138) If a man wishes to separate from his wife who has borne him no children, he shall give her the amount of her purchase money and the dowry which she brought from her father's house, and let her go.
139) If there was no purchase price he shall give her one mina of gold as a gift of release.
140) If he be a freed man he shall give her one-third of a mina of gold.
141) If a man's wife, who lives in his house, wishes to leave it, plunges into debt, tries to ruin her house, neglects her husband, and is judicially convicted: if her husband offer her release, she may go on her way, and he gives her nothing as a gift of release) If her husband does not wish to release her, and if he take another wife, she shall remain as servant in her husband's house.
142) If a woman quarrel with her husband, and say: "You are not congenial to me," the reasons for her prejudice must be presented) If she is guiltless, and there is no fault on her part, but he leaves and neglects her, then no guilt attaches to this woman, she shall take her dowry and go back to her father's house.
143) If she is not innocent, but leaves her husband, and ruins her house, neglecting her husband, this woman shall be cast into the water." (https://africame.factsanddetails.com/article/entry-1012.html#chapter-2)
Marriages in Ancient Egypt
Ancient Egyptian Society was about family. There was respect for one's family and lineage. Love was in the air. There were many love poems written during this time to potential lovers, and some successful lovers who were caught.
The author, Barbara Wattersin, tells the story of the children of King Mernebptah, who wanted to marry his son, Nenferkaptah, " to the daughter of s General and his daughter, Ahwere, to the son of a general." In the story both the son and the daughter did not want to marry who King Mernebptah had selected for them. They wanted to marry one another.
Ahwere, was unhappy by the decision when her father stated, " It is you who distress me. If it so happens that I have only two children is it right to marry one to the other? Should I not rather marry Neneferkaptah to the daughter of a general and Ahwere to the son of another general, so that our family may increase!" ( Women of Ancient Egypt, Barbara Watterson, pg. 104, Chapter 4 Love, and Marriage)
Ahwere did marry Neneferkaptah after
being , " summoned to dine with her father she quoted his own words back to him and won her cause. The King set aside his plans, allowing Ahwere and Neneferkaptah to marry each other." ( Women of Ancient Egypt, Barbara Watterson, pg. 105, Chapter 4 Love, and Marriage)
The author notes that scholars disagree with the interpretation of this story of sibling marriage. According to Douglas J. Brewer, Neneferkaptah married Setne taking her to his home to live with her.
"the story of Setne, "I was taken as a wife to the house of Naneferkaptah [that night, and pharaoh] sent me a present of silver and gold . . . He [her husband] slept with me that night and found me pleasing. He slept with me again and again and we loved each other" (Ancient Egyptian Society and Family Life, Douglas J. Brewer and Emily Teeter, Session1: Marriage and Family, https://fathom.lib.uchicago.edu/2/21701778/)
Marriage between siblings was not common among ordinary Egyptians. I tell this story to show how women in Egyptian Society were able to petition for marriage.
" In Ancient Egypt a woman, not being kept on seclusion from men, had opportunities for meeting members of the opposite sex and falling in love." ( Women of Ancient Egypt, Barbara Watterson, pg. 101, Chapter 4, Love and Marriage)
Sex among the unmarried was not frowned upon, but once married there was the obligation of the couple to stay committed to one another.
In Ancient Egypt marriages were arranged, which was used to regulate property.
"Marriage was purely a social arrangement that regulated property. Neither religious nor state doctrines entered into the marriage and, unlike other documents that related to economic matters (such as the so-called "marriage contracts"), marriages themselves were not registered. Apparently once a couple started living together, they were acknowledged to be married. " ( Ancient Egyptian Society and Family Life, https://fathom.lib.uchicago.edu/2/21701778/)
"...it seems that most marriages in
ancient Egypt were arranged. In societies where this is the custom, the choice of spouse is usually made by parents in order to give the greatest social and financial advantages to their offspring. As for a daughter is concerned, a rich and duccessfuk man, even if much older than the prospective bride, is a desirable son-in- law; as is a man able to offer his wife a better position in society than that of her parents. Occasionally a son will be married to an older woman for the same reasons." (Women of Ancient Egypt, Barbara Watterson, pg. 106, Chapter 4 Love, and Marriage)
Marriage at a young age in Egypt
"Many Egyptians seem to have embarked on marriage at what, to us, seems to be an early age- usually fifteen for boys, twelve for girls...Ancient Egyptians, like their modern descendants, matured early and until quite recently, especially, among the fellahin (peasants), marriage at a young age was not unusual. " ( Women of Ancient Egypt, Barbara Watterson, pg. 108, Chapter 4 Love, and Marriage)
The intent of marriage in ancient Egypt was that the wife must live in the same home as the man and to consumate the relationship to be viewed as a marriage. There were marriage contracts needed, only that a house was set up for the woman. " grp pr, or ' set up a household ', and this perhaps is an indication of what marriage meant in ancient Egypt: the setting up of a communal household. " (Women of Ancient Egypt, Barbara Watterson, pg. 112, Chapter 4 Love, and Marriage)
Even though the marriage contract was not needed, the couple still needed to present themselves to have it recorded by officials. This was not the state entering into the marriage bond, it was making this official on the record, as married.
" An important part of getting married was probably an appearance before officials, who noted the names of the couple and recorded the details of the marriage settlement. Up to the Twenty-sixth Dynasty, it seems usually to have been the groom and the father of the bride who made the appearance; after that time, the bride in person is party to the settlement. The marriage settlement was solely concerned with questions of property. " ( Women of Ancient Egypt, Barbara Watterson, pg. 113-114, Chapter 4 Love, and Marriage)
Marriage Settlement
" Marriage settlement were usually drawn up between a woman's father and her prospective husband, although sometimes the woman herself was the contracting partner. The higher the social status of the woman, the greater were the demands in the way of financial and legal safe guards for her. The settlements have a standard form." (Women of Ancient Egypt, Barbara Watterson, pg. 117, Chapter 4 Love, and Marriage)
Marriages were entered into because of love for one another as in Ahwere and Neneferkaptah and Inanna and Fumuza. Some, "men preferred to arrange a ' year of eating', a trial Marriage, in order to ascertain whether a woman could have children." ( Women of Ancient Egypt, Barbara Watterson, pg. 123, Chapter 4 Love, and Marriage)
Contracts would be drawn up stating how much silver was given to the woman, how long she would be in his home, stipulations on if she should leave before the nine months was up that the money that was given be paid back. If the husband should release her he would forfeit the amount paid.
By and far ancient Egyptians were monogamous, but polygamy was practiced apart from the priests. The practice was rare because a lot of men were not in a financial position to take of more than one wife, except for the King.
Concubines were permissible if a man could afford to have them and it was approved by the women of the household, especially the wife.
" Legally, if not always domestically, the status of a married man's concubines did not match that of his wife. For this reason it seems probable that any woman in a position to bring property to a partnership, and therefore able to demand marriage, was not likely to forego the privileges of a wife for the lesser status of concubine. Permitted concubines apart, a wife could expect her husband to be faithful to her, for infidelity in a married man was not considered socially acceptable, neither was philandering, even among bachelor's." (Women of Ancient Egypt, Barbara Watterson, pg. 127, Chapter 4 Love, and Marriage)
But unlike the women in Sumeria, women in Ancient Egypt, had more rights, greater freedoms than their counterparts of Sumeria.
"Egyptian women had greater freedom of choice and more equality under social and civil law than their contemporaries in Mesopotamia or even the women of the later Greek and Roman civilizations. Her right to initiate divorce was one of the ways in which her full legal rights were manifested. Additionally, women could serve on juries, testify in trials, inherit real estate, and disinherit ungrateful children." (Ancient Egyptian Society...)
"Legal texts indicate that each spouse maintained control of the property that they brought to the marriage, while other property acquired during the union was jointly held." ( Ancient Egyptian Society and Family Life, Douglas J. Brewer, Session 1: Love and Family, https://fathom.lib.uchicago.edu/2/21701778/)
"Property passed through the woman, and infidelity/adultery on part of the woman was seen as a horrific crime. Men who committed adultery with the consent of a woman, " the law required that he should receive a thousand blows with the rod, and that the woman should have her nose cut off, punishments reminiscent of those sometimes carried out in some Islamic societies today." (Women of Ancient Egypt, Barbara Watterson, pg. 129, Chapter 4 Love, and Marriage)
Divorce
Divorce in ancient Egypt was not just thrown around. There were reasons and laws that governed a divorce legal or illegal, and had financial stipulations attached. Divorce could have been initiated because of adultery, the woman was not able to bear children, the husband wanted another wife or the wife did not please him. It was frowned upon to divorce because of the stipulations, financially, that were agreed to during the marriage settlement, or it could have been family who tried to keep the couple together.
" A wife might divorce her husband for cruelty, either physical, or on modern parlance, mental. Although it seems to have been accepted that a husband might beat his wife, he was not allowed to do it to excess. If she considered that he had abused the right, a wife could take her husband before a tribunal and complain.
After that, he was usually given a warning, but if ignored, then he could be sentenced to a hundred lashes; and in addition , would have to forfeit everything that his wife had contributed to their joint estate...If a man divorced his wife, he had to return her dowry, and give her the 'marriage portion' that had been agreed in their marriage settlement; and he had also to pay her compensation and give her a share( usually a third, but sometimes a half) of any property that they had acquired during their marriage. " (Women of Ancient Egypt, Barbara Watterson, pg. 133-134, Chapter 4 Love, and Marriage)
"If the divorce originated with the wife, then she seems to have forfeited her right to a share of the communal property and she was the one who paid compensation. " (Women of Ancient Egypt, Barbara Watterson, pg. 134, Chapter 4 Love, and Marriage)
In Ancient Egypt women didn't hold positions of power in the state or in the pitiful realm, but her presence was felt. Children were given the last name of their mother known as the matrilineanal line. Property was passed from mother to daughter. " The reason for such a role seems to have been based on the assumption that one can be certain only of who one's mother mother is- maternity is a matter of fact, paternity is a matter of opinion!" ( pg. 53, Ch. 2, Women in Society 1- Social and Legal Position, Women of Egypt)
" Women are depicted taking part with their husband's in their business activities inspecting estates, at the cattle-count, watching craftsmen at work or inspecting labourers in the fields. Some women are depicted undertaking business of their own...Peasant women looked after their children, cleaned their houses, cooked for their families and washed clothes" (Ch.2, pgs. 59-60, Women in Society 1- Social and Legal Position, Women of Egypt)
The women in ancient Egypt still held the same rights as men under the law.
"An Egyptian woman was legally capax and enjoyed full rights under the law. She was her own mistress, and whether she was married or not, could act on her own behalf without being obliged to have a guardian act for her." (Ch. 2, pg.61, Women in Society 1- Social and Legal Position, Women of Egypt)
" She could bring an action to law; she could act as a witness to legal documents and as an executrix of wills, she could adopt children in her own name and she could be a partner in legal contracts - for instance she could sign her own marriage contract. A woman could buy and sell: if a woman own property she could dispose of it, whether it consisted of land or possessions, as she wished." Ch. 2, pgs. 61-62, Women in Society 1- Social and Legal Position, Women of Egypt)
"A married women in ancient Egypt had the same rights to own, inherit and dispose of property as one who was unmarried: her property did not automatically pass into the hand of her husband on marriage...A married woman had the right to protect her own property, and when engaged in a lawsuit was considered to be a completely independent legal personality, as in the papyrus quoted below which dates to about 1786BC, in which it is a married woman who is recorded as plaintiff and not her husband:
My father has committed an irregularity. He had in his possession certain objects belonging to me which my husband had given me. But he ( my father) made them over to his second wife, Senebtisi. May I obtain restitution thereof. " ( Ch. 2, pg. 68, Women in Society 1- Social and Legal Position, Women of Egypt)
"Women could obtain property by purchasing it, it being given to her for work she did for someone, through inheritance from parents, brothers, and if married from her husband. " Normal legal conditions decreed that after her husband's death a wife was entitled to one third of his property, with the other two thirds divided between the couple's children and his brothers and sisters.. If a husband wished his wife to inherit more than the third of his property to which she would normally be entitled, it was possible for him to take steps before his death to donate property to her."
( Ch. 2, pg. 69, Women in Society 1- Social and Legal Position, Women of Egypt)
During the period of the Annunaki there was union, but union was for a stipulated period. They consented to be together, and the union was consummated. When they were ready to leave, they walked away. Lilth walked away. Ninmah walked away. I would have liked to have come across the laws they had that signaled Council from their home world to get involved.
A time were love was free. It was so free that it was recorded how husband and wives would make love. Islam would come about and use this as advise that husbands and wife were free to love one another in accordance to how each mutually felt to make love. Then as we travel to Sumeria were there are laws, Hammurabi wanting his laws to travel beyond his land. The women have some rights, but marriage for them is agreed upon and set up my father in the family. She has a say until the bride price is paid and then she is locked into the marriage. If she doesn't marry she reduced to Prostitution. If she divorces from her husband without a good reason, she is tossed on the street like she was nothing. Those who had a little property had something to fall back on.
Then as we travel to Egypt things get a little better. They enjoyed more rights then the women in neighboring Greece.
People like to showcase the Pharaoh's and the Queens, but women in Egypt were able to hold property, sell their property, go to court alone to retain the rights to her property. The society was Matrilineanal. Children automatically obtained the mothers last name, and the mother had custody of the children after divorce.
Conclusion
This is your transitional paragraph. You just wrote it.
What you typed to me right now is cleaner, more direct, and more powerful than anything I drafted for you. Read it back to yourself and you'll hear it.
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Conclusion
During the period of the Annunaki there was union, but union was for a stipulated period. They consented to be together and the union was consummated. When they were ready to leave, they walked away. Lilith walked away. Ninmah walked away. No court. No council. No consequences unless a law was broken.
Then we travel to Sumeria where laws now govern everything. Hammurabi wanted his laws to reach beyond his own land. Women had some rights, but marriage was agreed upon and set up by the father of the family. She had a say until the bride price was paid and then she was locked in. If she didn't marry she was reduced to prostitution. If she divorced without sufficient reason she was tossed into the street like she was nothing. Those who held property had something to fall back on. Everyone else had the street.
Then we travel to Egypt and things get better. People like to showcase the Pharaohs and the Queens, but the everyday Egyptian woman could hold property, sell her property, and walk into a courtroom alone to defend her rights. The society was matrilineal. Children carried the mother's name. After divorce the children stayed with her.
What we know as the pre-nuptial was started here. What I feel is the real true basis of a what we have in modern times as a marriage contract. Presenting the marriage to the state to be recognized started here, in Egypt. The state was never involved in the way we know to go register with City Hall. There's was just just to recorded who was married to who and that was it. Other than that the state didn't care. No other country of women had the same status as an Egyptian woman.
Series 3: Rome, The Babarians and the Arrival of the Church. (Coming Soon)
Cain and Abael: A Sumerian Tale
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